Artemis II Astronauts Return to Earth Disappointed to Find Moon Still in Sky

HOUSTON - The four Artemis II astronauts returned to Johnson Space Center Saturday visibly frustrated after their much-hyped "moonshot" mission failed to deliver the moon to Earth as advertised.

"We went all the way up there, circled around it a bunch of times, and nobody told us how we were supposed to carry it back," said Mission Commander Reid Wiseman, gesturing helplessly at the sky where the moon remained stubbornly visible. "The brochure definitely said 'moonshot,' so naturally we assumed we were supposed to shoot it down or something."

NASA officials scrambled to explain the miscommunication to the hundreds of family members and space center employees who had gathered expecting to see Earth's new second moon. Many attendees expressed disappointment, with several children reportedly asking why the astronauts "came back empty-handed."

"Look, in hindsight, maybe we should have brought a bigger net," admitted astronaut Christina Koch, still wearing her flight suit. "But honestly, that thing is way heavier than it looks. We're talking about a 73.5 million billion ton ball of rock here. The cargo bay wasn't nearly big enough."

The crew spent an additional 30 minutes at the podium attempting to explain to the crowd that the mission's actual purpose was to test systems for future lunar landings, but most attendees had already left to get refunds from NASA's gift shop.

At press time, NASA was hastily updating all Artemis III promotional materials to clarify that astronauts would "visit" the moon rather than "capture" it.