Hampshire College Declares Bankruptcy After Discovering They Were Actually Just an Elaborate Summer Camp This Whole Time

AMHERST, MA — Hampshire College announced Tuesday that it will permanently cease operations after a devastating internal investigation revealed that the school had been operating as an overly expensive summer camp for the past 52 years, charging students $62,000 annually to roast marshmallows and participate in trust falls.

The discovery came to light when new interim president Dr. Margaret Thornfield attempted to locate the college's actual curriculum and instead found only a dusty binder filled with arts and crafts instructions and a hand-drawn map to the nearest poison ivy patch.

"We always wondered why our graduation ceremonies involved singing camp songs and presenting students with participation ribbons instead of diplomas," said Thornfield, who admitted she should have been suspicious when the school's motto was revealed to be "Learning is Fun-damental!" written in glittery puffy paint.

Former students are now questioning the validity of their degrees after realizing their transcripts were actually just report cards rating their performance in activities like "Lanyard Making" and "Identifying Different Types of Tree Bark." Senior Emma Rodriguez, who thought she was majoring in Environmental Science, discovered she had actually spent four years earning a certificate in "Advanced Leaf Collection."

"I did think it was weird that my final thesis was just a diorama of local wildlife made from toilet paper rolls and construction paper," Rodriguez admitted. "But the professor seemed really excited about my use of googly eyes."

The college's financial troubles reportedly began when parents started questioning why tuition bills were being sent on camp letterhead decorated with cartoon bears, and why the payment plans included options for "care packages" and "bug spray insurance."

Hampshire's academic departments will now be distributed to actual summer camps throughout New England, where officials say the transition should be seamless.