Local Man's Life So Boring He Live-Tweets Medieval Fantasy Show About Two Guys Walking Around

WESTFIELD, NJ - Local insurance adjuster Derek Pembleton, 34, reached what experts are calling "peak modern existence" Sunday night when he spent over three hours providing live commentary on a television program about two fictional medieval characters whose biggest challenge this season was finding a decent inn.

"WHOA! Dunk just looked pensively at a sunset while Egg said something wise beyond his years!" Pembleton tweeted at 9:47 PM to his 23 followers, most of whom are bots trying to sell him cryptocurrency. "This changes EVERYTHING for season 2!"

The HBO series, which television critics describe as "Game of Thrones but if everyone just talked about their feelings instead of murdering each other," apparently concluded its six-episode run with what Pembleton called "the most epic walking-toward-the-horizon scene in television history."

"Derek has been analyzing every frame like it's the Zapruder film," said roommate Kevin Mills, who was trying to study for his CPA exam. "Last week he spent forty-five minutes explaining the symbolic significance of Egg adjusting his hat. It's a hat, Derek. People wear them."

Pembleton's dedication to the live-tweeting experience included creating a spreadsheet to track "character development moments" and "potential foreshadowing," despite the fact that the source material consists of two short stories that George R.R. Martin wrote during a particularly uneventful weekend in 1998.

"The way Dunk scratched his beard in episode 4 clearly sets up a major plot point for season 3," Pembleton explained to reporters while adjusting his "House Hedge Knight" t-shirt. "You can't just scratch your beard like that without it meaning something deeper."

When informed that season 2 has not yet been officially announced and may never happen, Pembleton reportedly spent an additional hour tweeting about how this uncertainty "perfectly mirrors the existential dread of medieval life."