NASA Scientists Issue Emergency 47-Page Photography Manual After Astronauts Submit 14,000 Blurry Selfies

HOUSTON — Following the submission of thousands of photos consisting primarily of extreme close-ups of astronaut nostrils and accidental finger-over-lens shots, NASA scientists have issued an emergency 47-page photography manual titled "Please Stop Taking Pictures of Each Other Making Bunny Ears."

The crisis began when Mission Control requested documentation of the lunar approach, only to receive a collection of images that included 847 variations of crew members pretending to "hold" the moon between their fingers, 1,200 attempts at recreating famous movie poster poses, and one particularly concerning series of photos where Commander Sarah Mitchell appears to be directing an elaborate interpretive dance about zero gravity.

"We specifically asked for geological samples and surface composition analysis," said lead scientist Dr. Robert Chen, scrolling through what appears to be a 45-minute photo session of the crew spelling out 'YOLO' with their floating limbs. "Instead, we got a comprehensive documentation of every possible facial expression humans can make while wearing space helmets."

The photography guidance memo, which was transmitted to the spacecraft this morning, includes such chapters as "The Moon Is Not Your Personal Photo Backdrop," "Why We Don't Need 73 Pictures of Tang Floating," and "A Gentle Reminder That This Mission Cost More Than Several Small Countries' GDP."

Crew photographer Lieutenant Dave Rodriguez defended the team's artistic choices, radioing back to Earth: "Listen, future generations need to know we looked cool up here. Also, can someone tell my mom I got her a really good shot for her Christmas cards?"

At press time, NASA reported receiving 47 new photos, all of which appeared to be the crew attempting to photobomb each other during routine equipment checks.