NASCAR Driver Tyler Reddick Wins First 3 Races by Simply Refusing to Stop Racing When Others Do

AUSTIN, TX - In what NASCAR officials are calling "technically within the rules but spiritually exhausting," driver Tyler Reddick has won the first three races of the season by employing the bold strategy of never actually stopping his car.
Reddick, who crossed the finish line first at Daytona, then continued driving for an additional 47 hours until the next scheduled race began, at which point he was already leading lap one.
"We kept waving the checkered flag, but Tyler just kept going," said NASCAR official Janet Morrison, who has been following Reddick's #45 Toyota on foot since February. "At first we thought his radio was broken, but then we realized he was just really, really into racing."
The 28-year-old driver has reportedly consumed nothing but energy drinks and gas station hot dogs thrown from the pit crew for the past month, refusing to exit his vehicle even for bathroom breaks.
"Tyler's redefined what it means to be dedicated to the sport," said team owner Denny Hamlin, shouting from a golf cart traveling 180 mph alongside Reddick's car. "We're not sure how to get him to stop for the off-season, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there."
NASCAR historians note this is the first time a driver has won consecutive races by literally never stopping racing, though similar strategies were attempted in the 1970s before drivers realized they needed sleep.
At press time, Reddick was spotted taking the green flag for next week's race in Las Vegas, having maintained an average speed of 45 mph during his cross-country drive from Texas.