NFL Mock Draft Experts Admit They've Been Randomly Selecting Names from Phone Book This Entire Time

In a stunning confession that has rocked the football world, prominent NFL Mock Draft expert Chad Projectionson admitted Tuesday that his highly-regarded three-round projections have been based entirely on selecting names at random from the Yellow Pages.

"I ran out of actual football knowledge around pick 47 of my first mock draft in 1997," said Projectionson, whose bold prediction that the Jacksonville Jaguars would trade their entire 2026 draft class for a lifetime supply of stadium nachos sent shockwaves through the football community. "After that, I just started picking names that sounded like they could play linebacker. You'd be amazed how many accountants named Brad sound like they could rush the passer."

The revelation came during what Projectionson called his annual "Pre-Combine Chaos Theory Session," where he throws darts at a map of America while wearing a blindfold and listening to his grandmother's recipe for meatloaf on repeat.

"The trades are the easy part," explained fellow mock draft guru Mel Speculatenstein. "I just spin a wheel with team logos and whatever it lands on twice gets to swap picks. Last week it landed on 'Green Bay' and 'my lunch,' so I projected the Packers trading Aaron Jones for a turkey sandwich."

When pressed about the accuracy of their methods, Projectionson pointed out that he correctly predicted in 2019 that "someone tall would probably get picked in the first round," which he considers his greatest analytical triumph.

The NFL Combine, scheduled for next month, is expected to completely reshape these projections, mainly because Projectionson plans to switch from the Yellow Pages to a collection of Denny's receipts he found in his car.