Pentagon Realizes 'Operation Epic Fury' Name Already Taken by Local Teenager's Call of Duty Clan

WASHINGTON — The Department of Defense announced Tuesday that it must immediately rename its latest military operation after receiving a cease-and-desist letter from Kyle Henderson, a ninth-grader from Topeka, Kansas, who has held the trademark on 'Epic Fury' since 2019 for his Call of Duty: Modern Warfare clan.

'We deployed $2.3 billion worth of stealth bombers, kamikaze drones, and Tomahawk missiles, only to find out some kid beat us to the name by five years,' said Pentagon spokesperson Janet Rodriguez, visibly exhausted. 'Apparently, Kyle's mom helped him file the paperwork after he got really good at quickscoping.'

The operation, which involved the largest U.S. military mobilization in the Middle East in decades, will now be renamed 'Operation Moderate Irritation' to avoid further legal complications.

Henderson, whose Xbox Live profile shows a 2.3 K/D ratio and 47 days of playtime, expressed satisfaction with the Pentagon's compliance. 'They should have checked with me first,' Henderson said between Mountain Dew sips. 'I've been running Epic Fury operations since middle school. These guys are total noobs.'

The teenager has reportedly offered to serve as a military consultant for $50 and a new gaming headset, claiming his expertise in 'pwning scrubs' could be valuable for future operations.

Military officials are now reportedly consulting Urban Dictionary before naming any future missions.