Reality TV Producer Discovers That Reality Contains Too Much Reality, Halts Production

LOS ANGELES — In a stunning turn of events that has left Hollywood executives scrambling to redefine the term "reality television," Hulu announced this week that production on "The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives" has been temporarily suspended after producers discovered that the show's participants possess actual secret lives that are apparently too secret for television.

The halt came after star Taylor Frankie Paul's involvement in domestic violence allegations, which producers claim "crosses the line from entertaining reality into uncomfortable reality," according to an internal memo leaked to sources.

"We signed up for manufactured drama about who wore tank tops to book club, not actual legal proceedings," said executive producer Chad Williamson, nervously adjusting his designer glasses. "There's a very specific ratio of real-to-fake that we aim for in reality TV, and genuine criminal allegations really throw off our algorithm."

The network has reportedly hired a team of consultants to help distinguish between "good reality" (staged arguments about cupcake flavors) and "bad reality" (actual human consequences), with plans to implement a new screening process they're calling "Reality Reality Check."

"It's a heavy time and it's unfortunate," Paul stated in a press release, apparently unaware that her quote would later be used as the official Hulu slogan for their new "Slightly Less Real Reality" programming block.

Industry insiders suggest the incident may lead to a broader trend of reality shows featuring increasingly artificial participants, with one unnamed source revealing plans for a dating show starring only mannequins and a cooking competition judged exclusively by Golden Retrievers.

At press time, Hulu executives were reportedly in talks to replace the entire cast with holographic projections to "minimize future reality-related complications."