Christopher Nolan Confirms 47 Stuntmen Actually Died Inside Wooden Horse During 'The Odyssey' Filming

LAS VEGAS — Acclaimed director Christopher Nolan revealed at CinemaCon yesterday that his upcoming epic 'The Odyssey' achieved unprecedented realism by actually besieging Troy for three years, resulting in what he called 'minor production delays and moderate cast mortality rates.'

'Look, when you're committed to practical effects, sometimes you have to burn down a few UNESCO World Heritage sites,' Nolan told stunned exhibitors while projecting the film backwards at 0.25x speed. 'We rebuilt Troy brick by brick, then spent 36 months laying siege to it. The craft services budget alone bankrupted Warner Brothers twice.'

The director confirmed that the film's centerpiece Trojan Horse sequence was shot in real-time over several days, with 47 stuntmen sealed inside a handcrafted wooden horse. 'Unfortunately, we forgot to include air holes because Homer never mentioned them in the original text,' Nolan explained. 'But their sacrifice really adds authenticity to Odysseus's anguished screams, which are now 100% method acting.'

Nolan also revealed that star Oscar Isaac actually spent ten years sailing the Mediterranean, fighting cyclops and sirens. 'Oscar kept asking when we'd use green screen, but I told him, "Green screen? More like green SCREAM when you're being devoured by an actual sea monster,"' the director chuckled.

The film, shot entirely on 70mm IMAX film using cameras mounted inside catapults, will be released simultaneously in theaters and carved into stone tablets, as Nolan intended.