El Salvador Announces Ambitious New Program to Give 12-Year-Olds Sense of Long-Term Commitment They've Been Missing

SAN SALVADOR — In a groundbreaking initiative to address what officials call a "severe dedication deficit" among the nation's youth, El Salvador has introduced a revolutionary program offering 12-year-olds the opportunity to commit to lifelong residential experiences in state-sponsored facilities.

"Today's children simply don't understand commitment," explained President Nayib Bukele at a press conference held in what appeared to be a maximum-security daycare center. "One day they want to be astronauts, the next day they want to be dinosaurs. This program will give them the stability and routine they desperately need."

The initiative, dubbed "My First Forever Home," promises to eliminate the anxiety-inducing burden of life choices that has plagued Generation Alpha. Participants will receive consistent meals, structured schedules, and matching orange pajamas that never go out of style.

"Finally, a government program that addresses the real issues," said local parent Maria Gonzalez while frantically researching boarding schools in neighboring countries. "My 12-year-old can't even commit to finishing his vegetables, but now the state is offering him a chance to really stick with something meaningful."

Child development experts are calling the program "unprecedented" and "deeply concerning," though Bukele dismissed their criticism as "typical adult jealousy" of children getting such an amazing opportunity for personal growth.

The president noted that the four-year state of emergency has been so successful that officials decided children shouldn't have to wait until adulthood to experience the character-building benefits of permanent institutional living.

"Some people say 12-year-olds don't have fully developed brains capable of understanding lifelong consequences," Bukele shrugged. "But have these critics seen how quickly kids master TikTok? Clearly they're ready for advanced life commitments."