Hollywood Announces Plans To Reboot 'The Wizard Of Oz' But Dorothy Is Now A 34-Year-Old Man Named Gerald Who Just Needs To Return His Neighbor's Borrowed Lawn Mower

LOS ANGELES — In what industry insiders are calling 'a bold creative swing' and what everyone else is calling 'a cry for help,' Paramount Pictures announced Tuesday its plans to reboot the iconic 1939 film 'The Wizard of Oz,' this time following the harrowing journey of Gerald Putzman, a 34-year-old accounts receivable specialist from Akron, Ohio, who simply needs to return a Craftsman 190cc lawn mower to his neighbor, Dave.

'We asked ourselves, what is the Wizard of Oz really about?' said studio head Martin Fleischer at a press conference where nobody had asked him anything. 'It's about getting home. It's about a simple task that spirals completely out of control. Gerald embodies that. Gerald IS Dorothy. Except he's not a little girl, he has a bad knee, and he's mildly annoyed rather than terrified.'

The film, tentatively titled 'There's No Place Like Dave's,' will follow Gerald as a tornado transports him, his 2019 Honda Accord, and the lawn mower to the magical Land of Oz, where he must navigate a series of whimsical obstacles including a Scarecrow who keeps giving him unsolicited financial advice, a Tin Man who won't stop talking about his divorce, and a Cowardly Lion who is afraid of confrontation but will absolutely talk about you behind your back.

'Gerald's journey is deeply universal,' said Dr. Patricia Honk, a film studies professor at the University of Southern Connecticut who was clearly just told about this project twenty minutes ago. 'We all have a lawn mower we need to return. Metaphorically. Or sometimes literally. Gerald's is literally.'

The script, written over what sources describe as 'one very long weekend,' reportedly features Gerald clicking his New Balance sneakers together three times while muttering, 'I just want to drop off the mower and maybe not have to make small talk for more than four minutes.' Critics who have read early drafts say the film's emotional climax, in which Gerald finally hands Dave the lawn mower and Dave says 'Oh, you didn't have to rush,' is 'genuinely devastating.'

Casting for the role of Gerald is already generating significant buzz, with sources confirming the studio is eyeing either Academy Award winner Brendan Fraser or 'whoever is available and owns their own khakis.'

Not everyone is enthusiastic. The estate of L. Frank Baum issued a statement saying they were 'reviewing their legal options,' while Dave, reached by phone, said he 'honestly forgot he even lent Gerald the mower' and that 'this whole thing seems like a lot.'

Production is set to begin in the fall, with a runtime of two hours and seventeen minutes, which Fleischer confirmed is 'about two hours and ten minutes longer than the actual errand would take.'

The film is expected to hit theaters in summer 2026, where it will reportedly gross $340 million worldwide because, as one anonymous studio executive explained, 'People will watch anything at this point. Anything at all.'

Gerald could not be reached for comment, as he was reportedly at Dave's house dropping off the lawn mower.