Iowa Hotel Guest Leaves Behind Measles Instead of Tipping Housekeeping

CEDAR RAPIDS, IA — Management at the Corn Kernel Inn are reportedly "flabbergasted" after discovering that a recent guest from Illinois left behind a highly contagious case of measles instead of the customary $5 tip for housekeeping.

"In my 30 years in hospitality, I've seen guests leave behind everything from dirty socks to mysteriously stained towels, but this really takes the cake," said hotel manager Karen Butterworth, speaking through an N95 mask while clutching a bottle of industrial-strength disinfectant. "We're going to have to completely overhaul our checkout procedures."

The Illinois Department of Public Health contacted Iowa officials after the guest returned home and tested positive for measles, apparently having shed the disease throughout the hotel's continental breakfast area, elevator buttons, and ice machine during their stay.

"Honestly, we would have preferred they just walked off with the bathrobes like everyone else," Butterworth added, noting that the hotel is now considering adding a "No Infectious Diseases" clause to their terms and conditions, right between "No Smoking" and "No Pets Over 50 Pounds."

Local health officials are now contact-tracing anyone who may have been exposed, while housekeeping staff report they're "definitely asking for hazard pay" and considering a career change to something safer, like bomb disposal or professional alligator wrestling.