Lincoln Center Event Concludes With All Attendees Unsure What Lincoln Center Is Or Why They Were There

NEW YORK — In what historians are already calling 'an event that occurred,' Trevor Noah, Zara Larsson, Alex Cooper, and Kareem Rahma all appeared at Lincoln Center last Tuesday, doing things and saying words in front of people who had chosen to be there.

'We can confirm that the four individuals were present at the location known as Lincoln Center,' said event coordinator Patricia Wembley, gesturing broadly at a building. 'Things transpired. There was almost certainly applause at some point.'

Eyewitnesses report that Trevor Noah stood at a microphone and made the specific kind of face he makes when he's being charming. Zara Larsson was observed existing beautifully in the general vicinity of a stage. Alex Cooper reportedly spoke into something, possibly a microphone, possibly her own hand, while Kareem Rahma stood nearby in a manner that sources describe as 'deliberate.'

'I was there,' confirmed attendee Dennis Cho, 34, who had purchased tickets. 'It was Lincoln Center. They were all there. I drove 45 minutes.' When asked what specifically happened, Cho stared into the middle distance for approximately eleven seconds before whispering, 'stuff.'

Deadline magazine, which broke the story with the headline 'Here's What Happened At Lincoln Center,' has since been nominated for a Pulitzer Prize in journalism for their groundbreaking use of the phrase 'here's what happened' followed by a description of people merely existing at coordinates.

Lincoln Center itself released a statement reading: 'Yes. This is us. We are Lincoln Center. The event happened here, at our center, which is Lincoln's.'

At press time, all four celebrities had successfully left Lincoln Center, completing the event cycle.