Local Man Dusty May Accidentally Creates Basketball Dynasty While Simply Trying to Find Matching Socks

ANN ARBOR, MI - In what historians are already calling the most accidentally successful coaching hire in sports history, University of Michigan's Dusty May has reportedly turned the Wolverines into a basketball powerhouse while simply attempting to locate his missing argyle socks.

May, who was hired last spring after admitting he "thought this was a janitor position," has led Michigan from an eight-win season to Final Four contention using revolutionary techniques such as making players practice dribbling while folding fitted sheets and requiring the entire team to help him check under couch cushions for loose change.

"I just wanted someone to help me organize my sock drawer by color and thread count," May explained during a press conference held in the team's laundry room. "Somehow that translated into these kids being really good at putting balls through hoops."

University officials report that May's unconventional methods have included replacing traditional basketball drills with intensive fabric softener debates and substituting energy drinks with various detergent samples he's been meaning to try.

"Coach May made us run suicides every time he couldn't find a matching pair of dress socks," said starting guard Marcus Thompson. "By November, we were in the best shape of our lives and he had achieved what he calls 'sock enlightenment.'"

NCAA investigators have confirmed that May's coaching techniques, while bizarre, are completely legal, though they've requested he stop asking opposing teams' coaches for laundry detergent recommendations during timeouts.

At press time, May was reportedly considering a contract extension after successfully pairing 847 consecutive socks without a single mismatch.