Local Man Spends 6 Hours Live-Tweeting Medieval Fantasy Show, Achieves Nothing of Value

WESTFIELD, NJ - In what experts are calling "a profound waste of human potential," local insurance adjuster Derek Pembleton spent his entire Sunday evening providing live commentary on a television program about made-up medieval characters to an audience smaller than a middle school classroom.

Pembleton, 34, began his marathon Twitter session at 8:47 PM with the groundbreaking observation "oh shit its starting!!!" and proceeded to deliver earth-shattering analysis such as "dunk is tall" and "why is everyone so dirty back then" for the duration of the 52-minute episode.

"I feel like I'm really adding to the cultural conversation," said Pembleton, who has never read a single George R.R. Martin book but considers himself a "lore expert" after watching YouTube videos. "My followers depend on me to tell them when characters are walking somewhere or when swords make clashing sounds."

The live-tweeting reached its creative peak when Pembleton posted "HOLY CRAP SOMETHING HAPPENED" seventeen times in succession, each garnering between zero and two likes from what appeared to be bot accounts.

Pembleton's girlfriend Sarah Chen confirmed that he ignored her entirely during the broadcast, despite her attempts to discuss their upcoming mortgage renewal. "He kept shushing me and saying he was 'documenting television history,'" Chen reported. "It's a show about a tall guy and a short guy. They walk around a lot."

At press time, Pembleton was already preparing his detailed predictions for season 2, which he plans to post to his blog that receives an average of 1.3 visitors per month, including his mother.