Multiagency Cause-Of-Death Continuity Bureau Issues Binding 200-Page Clarification Establishing That AEW Star PAC's Asthma Attack Occurred Inside His Respiratory System And Not Outside Of It, Pulmonary Jurisdiction Liaisons Describe Event As 'Internal, Confirmed, And Unrelated To Any Finishing Move'

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Interstate Professional Wrestling Mortality Adjudication Panel, operating under the joint authority of the National Cause-Of-Death Classification Bureau and the Subcommittee On Deaths That Did Not Involve A Steel Chair, issued a binding policy brief Thursday formally establishing that AEW performer PAC died as a result of an asthma attack, which panel liaisons confirmed was 'the thing that happened and also the reason it happened.'
The ruling, which clocks in at 214 pages and includes fourteen appendices, two flowcharts, and a glossary defining the word 'natural,' concludes that the death in question 'occurred naturally, without foul play, and at a time when the decedent was no longer alive afterward.'
'We want to be extremely clear,' said a spokesperson for the Foul Play Absence Verification Task Force, reading from a prepared statement at a podium that several observers confirmed was present. 'Foul play was looked for. It was not found. The absence of foul play has been formally entered into the record as an absence, which is distinct from a presence, and we feel that distinction does a lot of heavy lifting in this document.'
The medical examiner's determination — that PAC, born Benjamin Satterley, experienced a fatal asthma attack constituting a natural death — was submitted for inter-agency review in accordance with Protocol 7 of the Federal Death Verification and Outcome Continuity Framework, which requires that all deaths determined to be natural be subsequently re-determined to be natural by a separate office using a different pen.
Officials from the Wrestling-Adjacent Respiratory Incident Classification Division confirmed Thursday that the asthma attack had taken place inside the body and not outside of it, a finding they called 'anatomically expected but procedurally necessary to document.'
The panel noted that no opponents, referees, folding tables, or Pay-Per-View production staff were implicated in the death, and that the ring itself had been cleared of suspicion following a brief but thorough investigation described in Appendix F as 'conclusive, canvas-based, and ultimately exculpatory.'
When asked whether the public had been waiting for this clarification, a spokesperson for the Bureau of Things People Already Largely Understood paused for eleven seconds before confirming that 'the findings are now official, which makes them different from unofficial, which is the prior state they were in before they were official.'
A follow-up briefing is scheduled for next Tuesday to formally establish that PAC remains dead following the issuance of the report, pending review.