NFL Confirms It Is 'Aware' Of Things, Proud Of Self For Knowing About Them

NEW YORK — In what communications experts are describing as a 'masterclass in stating the obvious,' the NFL issued a bold, groundbreaking statement Tuesday confirming that the organization is, in fact, aware of something that happened.

'We are aware,' read the statement, in full. Sources close to the league say it took a committee of seventeen executives, three legal teams, and one guy named Gerald approximately six hours to craft the two-word response, which several analysts are already calling 'the league's most informative press release in a decade.'

'This is a watershed moment for the NFL,' said sports communications professor Dr. Linda Tran of Ohio State University. 'Most organizations struggle to acknowledge reality at all. The fact that they've confirmed they possess knowledge of a thing that exists puts them genuinely ahead of the curve.'

The Green Bay Packers, meanwhile, issued their own statement confirming they are ALSO aware, prompting widespread celebration in the awareness community.

'Two organizations. Both aware. On the same day,' said one stunned reporter at the press conference, visibly emotional. 'I've been covering the NFL for twenty years and I have never seen this level of consciousness from a major sports franchise.'

When asked what the league planned to DO about the thing it was aware of, a spokesperson smiled warmly, paused for a long moment, and replied, 'We are aware of your question.'

The NFL's Awareness Department has reportedly requested a $4.2 million budget increase for fiscal year 2025 to fund additional awareness of future events.