Interagency Memo Clarifies That Photosynthesis Is Still Occurring, Though Office Cannot Speak To The Plants' Intentions

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Federal Office of Atmospheric Continuity (FOAC) issued a formal interagency memo Thursday clarifying that ambient breathable air has continued to be present during nighttime hours across all monitored regions, characterizing the findings as 'within expected parameters' and urging the public to treat them as 'informational, not aspirational.'

The memo, distributed at 4:47 p.m. on a Friday, spans 47 pages and includes three appendices, two of which are labeled 'Appendix B.' Officials have not yet clarified which Appendix B is the operative one, though a follow-up memo addressing this discrepancy is expected no earlier than the second quarter of next fiscal year.

'What we can say with a reasonable degree of confidence is that air was observed,' said Dr. Paulette Gruen, Deputy Associate Director of Nocturnal Atmosphere Verification, speaking from behind a lectern that had not been formally approved for press briefings. 'Whether that air was the same air as the day before, or new air, falls outside the current scope of this office.'

When asked whether residents should continue breathing, Dr. Gruen referred reporters to page 31 of the memo, which states only that 'respiratory behavior remains at the discretion of the individual and does not constitute official guidance from this office or any of its subsidiaries.'

The confirmation comes after eighteen months of multi-agency monitoring, during which 340 sensor units were deployed across the continental United States to measure the presence of air at intervals of every four hours. Officials noted that the sensors themselves require air to function, which one internal reviewer flagged as a 'potential methodological consideration' in a comment that was subsequently highlighted, printed, laminated, and filed.

'We want to be very clear that confirming air does not imply endorsement of air,' said Regional Science Liaison Coordinator Brent Voss, who attended the briefing but had not been scheduled to speak. 'The office neither encourages nor discourages air at this time. We are in a monitoring posture.'

A supplemental FAQ document released alongside the memo addresses 23 questions, of which 19 are answered with 'see memo,' three are answered with 'this question is outside scope,' and one — 'Is the air safe?' — is answered with 'that is a characterization.'

Several stakeholder groups have already requested clarification on the clarification. The National Association of Breathers submitted a formal inquiry asking whether the memo's findings apply to all air or only air in federally monitored zones. FOAC confirmed receipt of the inquiry and noted it would be assigned to the appropriate review channel within 60 to 90 business days.

A public comment period will open on a date to be determined. Comments may be submitted in writing, though officials note that submissions are not guaranteed to be read, 'given resource constraints and the ongoing presence of air.'

The office will reconvene in the spring to assess whether air continued to be present during the winter months. Results, if available, will be shared in a memo of comparable length.